Mayhunter

Filling up that Haiatus..

PART I

        There's a guy who's not your ordinary guy, by any means he's been into a lot more than you can imagine. He has not only been into the miles of obstacles, ocean of pain, but drowned himself with his own tears. He rode the wheel of life with fear and fury but withstood it nonetheless. This guy is 23 years old now, and in those years he had obstacles yet to overcome. With eyes empty, hopeless, full of betrayal  and one heck of a fake smile, he doesn't complain. Everyday, he goes to work and school with a hope for a glimpse of that silver lining behind those dark clouds. He is ambitious, he is a friend to friends, was an angel to gods, and lost his soul all at once. He strives for the best and even what he cannot have. He has probably one of the most boring life. He has a story to tell. (that maybe is not worth telling) He is me.

         What have I to lose? I have a bad headache, an upset stomach and a conscience telling me nothing at all. Nothing is going to stop me from changing my life for the better or living it just just like an as-----. I can say am contented  with my life right now, well hedonism and nihilism aside. But who wants tuna sandwich for breakfast, lunch and dinner. No one even does that,so why should I!

PART II

         I could write about how hard my life has been, how depressing, lifeless and overwhelming the world seems, or how many manholes I dropped into, or how many cliffs I had fallen, how I lived in out of one paradise to a million hell, and with how many people I loved and much more hated me.  I could ramble on about one of my best friend’s death and how I watched my doggy die and given to the doggy god of doggy heaven. But no, I’ll save you the time and empathy.

        I may sound blunt, or even rude, but don’t judge me just yet. Really, I am shy, quiet, and never disrespectful. I am unique and have been through a lot. That might make me fragile, emotional, and a bit sensitive, but I seem to manage. Confused as I am, I know what I want and what I can accomplish.

       So far this is the story of my life, not half lived yet felt in a lifetime. I do not like to exaggerate my story but my emotions refuse to consent. I just love to see the life behind me full of meanings, meanings of joy, pain, love, and life. 

Okay, so this is how it goes. In our daily existential drifts we occasionally run into experiences that are relatively simple and ordinary yet broad and intellectually exigent as a subject for deliberation. This is the phenomenon that sometimes drags us into thinking that we should write a book about this or that. Whatever or wherever that strange motivation comes from, I think it has something to do with our encounter with the spontaneity of diverse incidents and observations happening at such a short span of time. It is some kind of a logic-emotion collision happening in the brain, a mixture of random impulses sending the neurons into a psychosomatic frenzy blah blah blah….

            Have you ever been held responsible for an act you never did? How would you feel? Well, an outrage would be an understatement. I find it hard to understand why I should deserve such an unwarranted treatment or anybody for that matter.

            Defining people according to simplified categories dates back to antiquity, and is probably an intrinsic part of human cultures. Traditional myths, rituals and dramas routinely employed identifiable types, but they usually symbolized different aspects of humanity overall. Typingcasting is not at all100% negative, we know that for sure as sometimes portrayed in the media. Unfortunately, I happen to often encounter the less positive ones, or shall we say the unconstructive.

            Being a guy, I love expressing myself like one. Let us take the scenario of a social gathering, a party or any kind of gathering. If I talk with a stranger, a girl or groups of girls, they find it really easy to mistake me as James Bond looking for a midnight exercise. That metaphor might sound ridiculous or funny but true. You might not notice it at first but you can see their thoughts surely by their reactions outright or soon after. All this is happening because you stepped outside the manner they abide by, assumed or perceived. This is considered stereotyping. It happens everyday and no one knows how far it dates back because it is…well human nature. All humans have this natural feeling and use it most frequently, but sometimes it can go too far.

            I might have unfairly pointed this issue to the females as what my example implied a while ago. It goes the same with the guys; it even goes more excessive and downright dirty. I won’t deal with that since guys have the natural tendency to be rude and offensive, and when laid bare to the other party they often settle it out with blackeyes and bruises, no need to elaborate on that. What interest me are the females typecasting their opposites. In my experience and observations, some females already have this perceived personality of you even before you get to know them. There’s this one particular girl I met, she’s quite nice when I talked to her, but what she said to her girlfriends about me was discomforting, lucky for me I know one of her acquaintances. Aha!

            Its true that our experiences from the past gives us this impulse to prejudge but it is not at all fair to the person or persons you have thought wrongly about. “You are just an average guy, playing about!” Oh, crap! I can’t bear to hear that upfront, but I did and I wasn’t able to talk for an hour. Ha ha.

    No matter how nice and congenial your approach maybe, with this kind of thought, you go down nonetheless.