jokes

who knows any jokes??

share with us:)

A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless." Poof! He's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone.

"You're next," the genie says to the professor.

The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."

A Big Decision


A six-year-old boy walked up to his father one day and announced, 'Daddy, I'd like to get married.'

His father replied hesitantly, 'Sure, son, do you have anyone special in mind?'

'Yes,' answered the boy. 'I want to marry Grandma.'

'Now, wait a minute,' said his father. 'You don't think I'd let you get married with my mother, do you?'

'Why not?' the boy asked. 'You married mine.'

No Charge

My little boy came into the kitchen this evening while I was fixing supper. And he handed me a piece of paper he'd been writing on. So, after wiping my hands on my apron, I read it, and this is what it said:

For moving the grass, $5.

For making my own bed this week, $1.

For going to the store $.50.

For playing with baby brother while you went shopping, $.25.

For taking out the trash, $1.

For getting a good report card, $5.

And for raking the yard, $2.


Well, I looked at him standing there expectantly, and a thousand memories flashed through my mind.

So, I picked up the paper, and turning it over, this is what I wrote:

For the nine months I carried you, growing inside me, No Charge.

For the nights I sat up with you, doctored you prayed for you, No charge.

For the time and the tears, and the cost through the years, No Charge.

For the nights filled with dread, and the worries ahead, No Charge.

For advice and the knowledge, and the cost of your college, No Charge.

For the toys, food and clothes, and for wiping your nose, No Charge.

Son, when you add it all up, the full cost of my love is No Charge.

Well, when he finished reading, he had great big tears in his eyes.

And he looked up at me and he said,

"Mama, I sure do love you."

Then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote, PAID IN FULL.

sunay, u r very clever to rememer jokes

CRANberry, the famouse joke lover

A programmer was crossing a  road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want.” Again the programmer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?” The programmer said, “Look, I'm a programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend—but a talking frog, now that's cool.”

nice one

i wonder that i know a lot of jokes but i can't remember them now …...

waw very funny

Brb ｡◕‿◕｡