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Friends with Your Ex

Friends with Your Ex

Date: Aug 19 2008

Themes: Friend, Romance

Intro

1. Learn Vocabulary - Learn some new vocabulary before you start the lesson.

2. Read and Prepare - Read the introduction and prepare to hear the audio.

When you’re in a relationship, you spend a lot of time getting to know someone really well. And often, when a relationship ends, the people involved never see each other again or at least never spend much time together. But why shouldn’t they? Since they know each other so well, if they can put aside whatever caused the relationship to end, couldn’t they be good friends?

Well, it’s easier said than done. It’s hard to turn a relationship into a friendship and it’s also hard on your new partner. You have to be really secure to be OK with your girlfriend or boyfriend hanging out with his or her ex. Beren and Devan are currently on opposite sides of this situation. Listen to them talk about it.

Dialog

1. Listen and Read - Listen to the audio and read the dialog at the same time.

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Beren

Beren

Devan

Devan

Beren:  I’m a kind of weird position. One of my exes keeps on contacting me and it’s not like we’re friends because I think that’s weird to be friends with somebody you used to date when you’re dating somebody new. Have you ever had an experience with that?

Devan:  Oh totally. My boyfriend is still really good friends with his ex and that bothers me.

Beren:  Like, do they talk on the phone or talk in person or…

Devan:  They email each other a lot and he’s always like, “Oh, I think it’s really great that we can still be friends, but it kind of puts you in a weird situation…” Does your girlfriend…does she care that your ex is contacting you?

Beren:  Um, yeah, she gets a little weirded out about it. I would be too after so much time has passed…You have wonder why they’d want to be contacting you. And by the same token I know plenty of people who are friends with their exes and it seems to work. And I think maybe there’s a stigma on it which is why people are naturally more prone to be jealous.

Devan:  I think also depends on how the relationship ended too and how much time has passed.

Beren:  Yeah, I agree.

Devan:  I think that if my boyfriend talked to his girlfriend from high school who was like his first girlfriend and they haven’t seen or been together for like 10 years that wouldn’t bother me so much as the ex girlfriend he talks to all the time is the girl he dated right before he dated me, so that makes it a little more weird, you know?

Beren:  I can see that.

 

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Discussion

Someone Beren used to date has been trying to get in touch with her because she wants to be friends. But she can’t figure why, after all this time, her ex would want to be friends with her. Plus she’s worried it will be hard on her new girlfriend. And rightfully so. Devan explains that her boyfriend is friends with his ex and it bothers her.

Devan thinks that it makes more sense to be friends with your ex if a lot of time has passed. But her boyfriend is friends with the woman he was with right before her and it freaks her out.

How would you feel in Devan’s position? Are you friends with anyone you used to date?

 

Comments

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KEL

KEL

Brazil

Hi, joge !!
that is a question of personality, beleave…i think there are things in  the life that we can't to avoid and if would your gf wants to get back to her ex ?? what would you do about ?? any person have a different way.I'm sure a thing…i would be tolerant , and i never would hate her.so…know…if  you don't let her contactting with her ex, she ll do it without you know it , ok and i m sure that i 'm prepared to anything "the life is going" nothing is more important than that, okkkkkkkkkkkkkkk !!!!! joge, don't safer a lot , let it be …

01:30 AM Aug 26 2008 |

zorolacoste

United Arab Emirates

I think that we shoudn't be friends with someone we used to date because that will weird our exes , so we shouldn't do that.

10:43 PM Aug 25 2008 |

Alutka29

Alutka29

Poland

hmmm…I think it’s impossible. My ex loved me so much. He can’t start to like me. When he saw me with my present boyfriend he behavored strangly.I couldn’t be in friendships with him.

04:12 PM Aug 25 2008 |

icingblue813

China

And it is not only easy for you to be friends with your ex.But also with people who ever rejected you!

03:52 PM Aug 25 2008 |

icingblue813

China

Beren is a lesbian? I think it is a really tough situation.Maybe people always want to be friends with their exes.But at the end,most of us will find that just don't work.

03:45 PM Aug 25 2008 |

1 person likes this

Joge

Brazil

I don’t agree with you kel. You said it because you don’t like her. When you fall in love with someone I have sure you’ll think different.Bye

02:58 PM Aug 25 2008 |

Joge

Brazil

 I am not friend of my exes neither my husband. It's weird! When I meet my ex on the street I say only hi. I am not feel comfortable. Devan is all right. Past is past. Now, if you married, you had children , you'll have ex forever because of your children, right. That's my point of view. ByeCool

02:55 PM Aug 25 2008 |

ShohrehDB

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

I think just a few pepole can tolerate it, and for sure I'm not among them ;)

11:58 AM Aug 25 2008 |

Aira-ID

Aira-ID

Indonesia

I think keep contact with exes is no problem as far as you can give explanations for your girl/boyfriend.

07:11 PM Aug 24 2008 |

Baby--Cheer

United States

yeah for sure we can still friends with our ex but not all of them lol or its gonna be weirdo!

sometimes, relationships doesnt work nd the other person is not made to be ur man or girl just ur friend! everybody make mistakes nd i think that if we still respect our partner , do not lie to him, it's ok

01:56 PM Aug 24 2008 |

eliworld

China

by which way can we get to know each other successfully

03:41 PM Aug 23 2008 |

jasminekhan

India

No i don't believe we can we friend with our exes . it can harm new relationship. its better to for get exes .

02:47 PM Aug 23 2008 |

merllan

merllan

Bulgaria

I think  it is too difficult  to be friends with exes.Yes, I can be friend with my ex but my new boyfriend …??? Never allow me! I also woudn't like my boyfriend to meet with his exes.

02:41 PM Aug 23 2008 |

babypopi

babypopi

Ghana

i dont even have aboylover mush more an ex.but i have lot of boyfriends because am a tomboy.hahaha

07:20 AM Aug 23 2008 |

KEL

KEL

Brazil

THERE IS NO PROBLEM IF MY GF IS CONTACTING WITH HER EX BF AND IF SHE WANTS TO GET BACK TO HIM, I WOULD SAY TO HER: “GOOD LUCK, GIRL ” AND LIFE IS GOOD !!!! RSRSR

01:04 AM Aug 23 2008 |

KEL

KEL

Brazil

THERE IS NO ANY PROBLEM IF MY GIRLFRIEND IS CONTACTING WITH HER EX.AND IF SHE WANTS TO COME BACK TO HIM, I WOULD SAY : " GOOD LUCKAND THE LIFE IS GOING…RSRSRS

 

12:49 AM Aug 23 2008 |

朔轩

China

oh,no.only two correct.

08:57 AM Aug 22 2008 |

selina07318

China

We can be friends .but we cant contact with each other oftener. After all,we have our own life now.

If my current boyfriend always contacts with his ex,i will be very jealous,and maybe quarrel with him,by the same token,i dont want to do that to make my new bf angry. We should cherish what we have now,so dont look back…..

08:22 AM Aug 22 2008 |

doruntina

doruntina

Albania

well in some cases u can be friend with him/her but in general or at least based on that what i would do iwould say no i can’t be friend with him anymore there are many reasons why such as :his next girlfriend mgiht be jealous ,they would fight etc etc so i think no better don’t do it if u wanna live quiet life after u brake up with him/her

06:05 PM Aug 21 2008 |

1 person likes this

rene arriaga

Honduras

you just cant by principle

05:35 PM Aug 21 2008 |

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