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Friends with Your Ex

Friends with Your Ex

Date: Aug 19 2008

Themes: Friend, Romance

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2. Read and Prepare - Read the introduction and prepare to hear the audio.

When you’re in a relationship, you spend a lot of time getting to know someone really well. And often, when a relationship ends, the people involved never see each other again or at least never spend much time together. But why shouldn’t they? Since they know each other so well, if they can put aside whatever caused the relationship to end, couldn’t they be good friends?

Well, it’s easier said than done. It’s hard to turn a relationship into a friendship and it’s also hard on your new partner. You have to be really secure to be OK with your girlfriend or boyfriend hanging out with his or her ex. Beren and Devan are currently on opposite sides of this situation. Listen to them talk about it.

Dialog

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2. 学問 - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Beren

Beren

Devan

Devan

Beren:  I’m a kind of weird position. One of my exes keeps on contacting me and it’s not like we’re friends because I think that’s weird to be friends with somebody you used to date when you’re dating somebody new. Have you ever had an experience with that?

Devan:  Oh totally. My boyfriend is still really good friends with his ex and that bothers me.

Beren:  Like, do they talk on the phone or talk in person or…

Devan:  They email each other a lot and he’s always like, “Oh, I think it’s really great that we can still be friends, but it kind of puts you in a weird situation…” Does your girlfriend…does she care that your ex is contacting you?

Beren:  Um, yeah, she gets a little weirded out about it. I would be too after so much time has passed…You have wonder why they’d want to be contacting you. And by the same token I know plenty of people who are friends with their exes and it seems to work. And I think maybe there’s a stigma on it which is why people are naturally more prone to be jealous.

Devan:  I think also depends on how the relationship ended too and how much time has passed.

Beren:  Yeah, I agree.

Devan:  I think that if my boyfriend talked to his girlfriend from high school who was like his first girlfriend and they haven’t seen or been together for like 10 years that wouldn’t bother me so much as the ex girlfriend he talks to all the time is the girl he dated right before he dated me, so that makes it a little more weird, you know?

Beren:  I can see that.

 

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ディスカッション

Someone Beren used to date has been trying to get in touch with her because she wants to be friends. But she can’t figure why, after all this time, her ex would want to be friends with her. Plus she’s worried it will be hard on her new girlfriend. And rightfully so. Devan explains that her boyfriend is friends with his ex and it bothers her.

Devan thinks that it makes more sense to be friends with your ex if a lot of time has passed. But her boyfriend is friends with the woman he was with right before her and it freaks her out.

How would you feel in Devan’s position? Are you friends with anyone you used to date?

 

コメント

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cristophvini

Brazil

i learn inglish i are new age sorry me, more i go learn inglish!!!!

06:35 PM May 27 2018 |

Rehab92

Egypt

Nope i thinks its too weied because if he is still contacting me so he is still in love with me and if wants to be just freinds so he didnt love me from the beginning !!

02:23 PM Aug 22 2012 |

Irene Forever

Ukraine

If I still love my ex, it’s impossible for me to turn into a friend and pretend to be happy in this situation. It’s better for me neither to see nor to hear in order to stop feeling…

01:11 PM Aug 22 2012 |

1 person likes this

Masbarar

MasbararSuper Member!

Turkey

It’s not possible to be friend with the ex.Maybe if you talk just on the phone and not so much,there is no problem;you can be the firends who talk a few.In this case,you will not be good friend.But if you become good friend  or best friend,it can happen somethings if both part has no relationship or of both has actual problems with their new boy/girl friends.So when the relationship finish,friendship also must finish.That’s fair for the new comings. 

04:46 PM Aug 14 2012 |

a526814164

a526814164

China

It is difficult to understand what you mean!

07:42 AM Dec 25 2011 |

kenlin16

kenlin16

Taiwan

I think there are historical reasons for the one-husband and one-wife system. It’s not just a commitment for a person but  for a secure and stable society as well. Although adultery may not be an offense everywhere, it is a moral crime and in some case, it is even a law-breaking. Talking to one’s ex, no matter in what form,he/she has better sure that he/she has not cross the line of either moral or law.

11:15 PM Nov 05 2011 |

harolleon

Bolivia

hi every body I want practice english someone Help me please

05:17 PM Jun 23 2011 |

Maria del Alba

Spain

I think it’s often difficult to be in touch with your exes. There are some times when it is a shame that they don’t say even hello to you, but that’s only when the relation ended badly. Some other times, you can say ‘hello’ and talk a bit when you come across them but no more, and some other times (few times) you can still be friends; but i think it must pass some time for the latter.I think when someone is important or was a very imoportant person in your life, you must keep in touch with each other although there is no ‘partner love’ anylonger.

04:18 PM Jun 23 2011 |

dc-united/21

Germany

Must be like a bad trip. I think it is too hard to forget that there was something like love between 2 individuals. It makes it even harder to stay friends after all.


I wouldn’t be able to pretend that nothing happened. It would hurt too much.

06:20 AM Jun 14 2011 |

tiger_bagira

Greece

NICE

03:27 AM Nov 14 2010 |

ciccleo

ciccleo

Brazil

Yes, I am.

It was kind of weird in the begging, cause I liked him a lot. Now 3 years after, it's ok. But his girlfriend hates me and my boo hates my ex.

And as Devan said, after 5 years or more you don't fell uncomfortable anymore.

Anyway, I'd fell jealous if my bf kept in touch with her ex.

07:44 AM May 21 2010 |

1 person likes this

ELias

ELias

Germany

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It’s a difficult issue what you are talking about, because the situation depends on many different things. For the most of the people, significant for teens, is a normal relationship with the ex often not possible. This is not only a reason of shame, there are a lot of things which makes very hard to be normal friend with ex. For example it is not easy to see how your ex kisses another one, sure there are some senses which hurts you to observe that.

I’m not friend with anyone I used to date but I know that in many cases the person who fells more than friendship has very difficult to treat her or him as a usual friend. Maybe try to date a fried could be mean to destroy a friendship, but if the friendship deals with faith than it’s certain possible to keep the friendship.

 

03:05 PM May 12 2010 |

bEybHijOsH

bEybHijOsH

Philippines

heheheheh

10:19 PM May 02 2010 |

jenny416vn

jenny416vn

Canada

i cant hear the voice

 

04:25 PM Dec 29 2009 |

judith 5

Peru

Cooli do not believe, because i am very jealous, it is difficult have a boyfriend as him

06:37 PM Oct 03 2009 |

miffoo

miffoo

Slovakia

it's also hard on for Devon, it could be dangerous her relationship with her boyfriend

11:08 AM Dec 23 2008 |

DOLPHIN

DOLPHIN

Viet Nam

Friendship may and often does, grow into love but love never subsides into friendship

06:57 AM Dec 23 2008 |

Naomi1010

Naomi1010

Taiwan

Yeah, I think it’s way too complex when your gf/bf keeps contacting her/his exes. And it defintely will put u in a weired situation.

06:42 PM Dec 04 2008 |

jochy08

jochy08

Dominican Republic

for me … being friends with our ex may couse many issues if we already have another relationship, we should keep in mind that we are human being and we can bring into the present things that just are in the past..

09:56 AM Nov 30 2008 |

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