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Look at that face. Does that look like the face of a man who is joking around.? No it does not. Do you know why? I'l tell you why. It does not look like the face of a man who is joking around because it is my face and I am not joking around. I am not joking around at all. I am serious about these games. I am very serious about these games. I am so serious about these games that I make Al Gore look like a stand up comedian. I am so serious about these games that I make the Old Testament look like a comic book. I am so serious about these games that I am serious about stuff that isn't even serious. Stuff that's supposed to be a joke. No jokes on my watch, pal. Serious. SERIOUS.

A couple of days ago, John challenged me to a steeple chase through the Hutong. I think he was kidding. But I have accepted his challenge and I shall be victorious. In fact, I am so serious about this challenge that I had it put into our official press release about the games we'll be hosting. 

Do you want to challenge me to a game? Bring it on. C'mon. Bring it on, man, I am serious! They say that whoever wants it more wins and I want it so bad I can taste it. And it tastes like metal. Warm metal that has been sitting in the Beijing sun. It tastes like expensive metal. That's how I know it's gold and not a lousy bronze medal or something. 

Actually bronze is too good for those I will defeat. We should make medals out aluminum. Out of aluminum cans. Aluminum beer cans. Aluminum beer cans we found on the street and those will be for John and the other challengers who will come in second to me.