☆。Happy Life。 ☆
by Jacinda | English, baby! Blogs

88

Jacinda — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 06:54:30 GMT

88

Happy Father's Day~

If Only Life Could Be Like a Computer!

Jacinda — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 08:44:59 GMT

If Only Life Could Be Like a Computer!

If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!!

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run!" If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.

Hit "any Key" to continue life when ready.

To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

To add or remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

To improve your appearance, just adjust and display settings.

If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

When you loose your car keys, click on find.

"Help" with the chores is just a click away.

Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.

And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to You...

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

【Courtesy to Readers – Clarity 】written by F. L. Lucas

Jacinda — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 04:41:40 GMT

【Courtesy to Readers – Clarity 】written by F. L. Lucas

Character, I have suggested, is the first thing to think about in style. The next step is to consider what characteristics can win a hearer’s or a reader’s sympathy. For example, it is bad manners to give them needless trouble. Therefore clarity. It is bad manners to waste their time. Therefore brevity.

There clings in my memory a story once told me by Professor Sisson. A Frenchman said to him: “In France it is the writer that takes the trouble; in Germany, the reader; in English it is betwixt and between.” The generalization is over-simple; perhaps even libelous; but not without truth. It gives, I think, another reason why the level of French prose has remained so high. And this may in its turn be partly because French culture has been based more than ours on conversation and the salon. In most conversation, if he is muddled, wordy, or tedious, a man is soon made, unless he is a hippopotamus, to feel it. Further, the salon has been particularly influenced by women; who, as a rule, are less tolerant of tedium and clumsiness than men.

First, then, clarity. The social purpose of language is communication — to inform, misinform, or otherwise influence our fellows. True, we also use words in solitude to think our own thoughts, and to express our feelings to ourselves. But writing is concerned rather with communication than with self-communing; though some writers, especially poets, may talk to themselves in public. Yet, as I have said, even these, though in a sense overheard rather than heard, have generally tried to reach an audience. No doubt in some modern literature there has appeared a tendency to replace communication by a private maundering to oneself which shall inspire one’s audience to maunder privately to themselves — rather as if the author handed round a box of drugged cigarettes of his concoction to stimulate each guest to his own solitary dreams. But I have yet to be convinced that such activities are very valuable, or that one’s own dreams and meditations are much heightened by the stimulus of some other voice soliloquizing in Chinese. The irrational, now in politics, now in poetics, has been the sinister opium of our tormented and demented century.

=========================================

The article is interesting. But the third paragraph I can't really get it. At the second paragraph, why writer describe people as a hippopotamus. what's mean?

A Window Seat

Jacinda — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 02:28:23 GMT

A Window Seat

A: Which do you prefer, a window seat or an aisle seat?

B: I always prefer a window seat.

A: Why?

B: In case some bad thing happen I can jump out from it.

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Salt and Blood Pressure

Jacinda — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:59:30 GMT

Salt and Blood Pressure

Father: Shut up! Don't tell your father how to manage our business.

            I have eaten more salt than you have rice!

Son: Yes, sir. But no wonder your blood pressure is getting so high.

 BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

KEY

Jacinda — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:54:51 GMT

KEY

Q: What key has legs and can't open a door ?

A: Turkey.

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

The Bus Stop

Jacinda — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:35:57 GMT

The Bus Stop

Molly, a heavy-set, elderly lady, rushed breathlessly onto the municipal bus.

She sat down with her shopping bag between her legs and caught her breath.

A half hour later she moaned, "Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I hope I don't miss my bus stop!"

"Why don't you remind the bus driver?" advised a friendly stranger.

Molly tottered down the aisle, almost losing her balance.

"Driver … driver. I can't miss my bus stop! If I do, I'll be late. Mister, please announce my stop."

"Relax, lady," roared the driver. "I'll tell you when we get to your stop. Where are you going?"

"The bus terminal."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

The emotions between Female and Male

Jacinda — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:08:59 GMT

The emotions between Female and Male

Why can't Female and Male be just the best friends?

When I find the website, I think it fun. I can know more things, practice my English, and make friends in world. So I log in.

But I feel sad these days.

Well, I learn more here, and Make some friends here.

I feel sad because some of friends just want to talk about sex. Is it very important thing in our life?

I think it's not very impotant thing in my life.

So, If you just want to talk to me about this, please don't add me to be friends. Thanks.

Taipei 101

Jacinda — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 07:54:12 GMT

Taipei 101

Do you know which the highest building is in Taiwan? Taipei 101 which is designed by C. Y. Lee & Partners and constructed by KTRT Joint Venture is the highest landmark skyscraper located in Taipei, Taiwan, and it's also the tallest skyscraper in the world.

Now I want to introduce the history about Taipei 101. Planning for Taipei 101 began is 1997. Taipei 101's roof was completed three years later on July First, 2003. The inauguration of Taipei 101 Mall took palce on November Fourteenth,2003.

===========================No Finish!!

Ideal Man

Jacinda — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 03:37:03 GMT

Ideal Man

Mary wants to find an ideal man.

So she keys in some keywords on the web: tall, handsome, humor, rich, chivalry , and....

Then the computer shows her ideal man:

The Color Television.

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Letters of the alphabet

Jacinda — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 04:28:31 GMT

Letters of the alphabet

Do you know how many letters in the alphabet?

Twenty.

Because AIDS died.

And ET flied away.

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

How am I ?

Jacinda — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 11:43:04 GMT

How am I ?

I feel a little sad.

I feel a little bad.

Please don't say to me that you want to make a friend with me, not just a friend.

Please don't say to me that you love me because I am pretty, just because I am pretty.

Please don't say to me that you fall in love with me as we first talk.

How am I ? I don't believe the love.

I think "love" is the most unreliable word in the world.

I don't believe the love.

I don't believe the forever.

Everything will change, be changed.

50-50 partners

Jacinda — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:04:10 GMT

50-50 partners

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.

"I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."

The son-in-law interrupted. "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."

"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."

"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day.

" Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half- owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Whisper

Jacinda — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 11:07:06 GMT

Whisper

A mother took her little boy to church.

While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."

The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. From now on when you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to whisper'." 　　

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his Father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."

The Father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Be Four

Jacinda — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 11:04:52 GMT

Be Four

A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills.

The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R."

Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong."

The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?"

Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E."

"Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?"

Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be- fore."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Say Goodbye to 2007

Jacinda — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:19:36 GMT

Say Goodbye to 2007

The year changed from 2007 to 2008.

My Life also made many changes last year.

We haven't be at AFL.

All of us are in different cities or countries now.

Something changed,

something past that we can't make it back.

Just let the memory past away,

but the firendship was as better as ever it had been.

No matter how it terrible or cheerful last year.

Now Say Goodbye to 2007.

To My Dear Friends,

Hope everyone be happy this year.

Best Wish!

Not Just One Car

Jacinda — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 02:47:49 GMT

Not Just One Car

As a older man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on route 290. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them !!!"

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Even there is a lie in believe

Jacinda — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 02:30:00 GMT

Even there is a lie in believe

Don't you think the ancient is smart to create the word "believe"?

We always choose to believe something or somebody even we know it may be a lie. When we love someting or somebody, we make ourselve forget to see the lie.

Even there is a lie in believe
we choose to believe because
love

But officer

Jacinda — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 10:54:31 GMT

But officer

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer." the man began, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..."

"But officer, I just wanted to say...."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Family Letters

Jacinda — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 04:10:22 GMT

Family Letters

Dear dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you like you can $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

*****************************************

Dear son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad.

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Don't let me be late!!

Jacinda — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 03:53:58 GMT

Don't let me be late!!

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.

As she ran, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"

As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.

She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. Again, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!...But don't shove me either!"

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

What would you like to hear?

Jacinda — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 02:36:43 GMT

What would you like to hear?

Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to an orientation in Heaven.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'LOOK! HE'S MOVING!!'"

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Forgetful

Jacinda — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 02:28:52 GMT

Forgetful

"I want to divorce my husband because he has a lousy memory!"

"Why would you want to divorce him for that?"

"Every time he gets around a young woman, he keeps forgetting that he's married!"

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Merry Christmas

Jacinda — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 02:09:48 GMT

Merry Christmas

☆。Merry Christmas。☆

We can know more than what we can tell.

Jacinda — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 03:54:07 GMT

We can know more than what we can tell.

We can know more than what we can tell.

Happiest day of your life

Jacinda — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:56:09 GMT

Happiest day of your life

Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."

"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew.

"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Flies

Jacinda — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:54:05 GMT

Flies

Joe said, "Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females."

"How could you tell them apart , Joe?" asked Charlie.

Joe replied, "That was easy. The 3 males were sitting on a case of beer and the 2 females were on the phone."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

My Name

Jacinda — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 03:29:19 GMT

My Name

My name is Jacinda.

The name is from Greek meaning Hyacinth Flower.

The language of Hyacinth Flower is loveliness, play, sports, constancy, and sorrows.

I think the name is like my character.

Sometimes I am a cute girl.

Sometimes I am a blue woman.

Well, this is my English name’s story.

A Kiss A Yard

Jacinda — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 02:03:10 GMT

A Kiss A Yard

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" 　　

"Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. 　　

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her.

"Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

What's your name?

Jacinda — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 01:56:24 GMT

What's your name?

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." 　　

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" 　　
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Buy the Grade

Jacinda — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 03:40:46 GMT

Buy the Grade

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

Do you know me?

Jacinda — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 03:36:55 GMT

Do you know me?

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

I Need Water

Jacinda — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 03:26:34 GMT

I Need Water

A traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. 　　

Hope to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out. 　　

The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?" 　　

The man replied, "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes." The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"

"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, and they'll give you all the water you want." 　　

The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight. Three hours later he returned. 　　

The man at the card table said, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?" 　　

"I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

BacK to ☆。Jokes。☆

☆。Happy Life。 ☆ by Jacinda | English, baby! Blogs

88

88

If Only Life Could Be Like a Computer!

If Only Life Could Be Like a Computer!

【Courtesy to Readers – Clarity 】written by F. L. Lucas

【Courtesy to Readers – Clarity 】written by F. L. Lucas

A Window Seat

A Window Seat

Salt and Blood Pressure

Salt and Blood Pressure

KEY

KEY

The Bus Stop

The Bus Stop

The emotions between Female and Male

The emotions between Female and Male

Taipei 101

Taipei 101

Ideal Man

Ideal Man

Letters of the alphabet

Letters of the alphabet

How am I ?

How am I ?

50-50 partners

50-50 partners

Whisper

Whisper

Be Four

Be Four

Say Goodbye to 2007

Say Goodbye to 2007

Not Just One Car

Not Just One Car

Even there is a lie in believe

Even there is a lie in believe

But officer

But officer

Family Letters

Family Letters

Don't let me be late!!

Don't let me be late!!

What would you like to hear?

What would you like to hear?

Forgetful

Forgetful

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

We can know more than what we can tell.

We can know more than what we can tell.

Happiest day of your life

Happiest day of your life

Flies

Flies

My Name

My Name

A Kiss A Yard

A Kiss A Yard

What's your name?

What's your name?

Buy the Grade

Buy the Grade

Do you know me?

Do you know me?

I Need Water

I Need Water

☆。Happy Life。 ☆
by Jacinda | English, baby! Blogs